calm after the storm
I'm feeling better today, but still feeling down. The hardest moments come when I'm alone. It's the suck that I'm alone most of the day. But that'll be over tomorrow. Party time. Yay. I need to forget.
It's cool that we're still in touch, well, I actually think it'd be really stupid to stop talking to each other. Things are weird, but I guess it's normal. And time heals everything.
Alez and Hugo are coming to pick me up from uni tomorrow after the exam. We're gonna go out for lunch afterwards. Meeting Cris too. I still have to tell her they're coming, but I'm sure she won't mind.
We have lots of things to do tomorrow. Swimming pool, that festival at "Malas Compañías", Tweety's concert..... We gotta go shopping too! and eat ice-cream, watch movies, over play Billy Talent's songs, take pictures, burn cds, shop online..
I was just thinking about Pictures of Shorelines show on sunday. It was amazing. I think they didn't like it much, but I loved it, like all the others. You just can't imagin the way I feel when I see them up in stage. They're the best. Best band, best friends. Yay. I love you boys and girl!! They didn't won, but who cares about it anyways?
I think I'll stop my babling and go back to studying. Wish me luck tomorrow. Wish luck to Samu too. (Thanx for reading my blog!!)
Good luck to Weezer in Tolouse. Remember: max.
<3
So, today, tho it might have no sense or mean shit, I'll do what I've never done before (or did just once or twice) and should have done.
Cause I wanna show you that it's true what I've said and feel.
And I'm sorry that I'm doing it this way, but I think it's the only one I have right now. Even tho you're just a msn window away.
I'm sorry, again, and now with all it's letters in a language you can read.
I know you've done everything for me, you've allways tried to make things right, cared about me 24/7 for 15 months.
It really means a lot. You really meant the world to me. I know I've never been to good at expressing how I felt about you, I'm sorry.
I know I've should have done much more for you. For all you've been to me.
You've shown me love like nobody else had ever done and I loved you the way I'd never loved before.
I trully want you to understand I've done this the best I could. I never ever meant to hurt you. Not a single time.
I know I've hurt you. And I now that because love was stronger than ever pain was also stronger than ever, cause I've felt that myself too.
(Know that harm was never intended).
I don't know how the fuck things turn out this way, it's not how I wanted them to end.
I would have killed to talk to you face to face, to have you sitting next to me, to cry with you. But here I am, crying on my own, and there you probably are, doing the exact same thing. Out of reach for a hug or a good bye kiss.
This way it seems neither of us care about the other, that this 15 months were regular and meant nothing and that's not what I think, and I know it's not what you think either.
I guess that was all I wanted to say, or at least all than I could type. I'm not even in the mood for breathing.
Just one last thing. I hope I can see you before I leave. I hope you let me hug you one last time. I loved you. And I still love you. You mean a lot to me. You've been the first to touch my heart for real.
Seriously, it's been the best of times. Counting waves, and visiting non-existent beaches. Just 2 touches, but the best 2 in the world.
format c:
I format my comp again and installed windows 98. That seemed the only way to keep it working properly. That drivers really fucked up the system.
Band practice on thursday ruled. I had a great time, and we finished Hugo's song. Well, "finished". We still have to make some changes, and get the vocals and lyrics, but it was so cool to finish both guitars and drums. Bass won't be a problem. I tried to fix in the lyrics I did the other day, but couldnt. We'll have to keep them for another song.
We went to see the place where we're moving into. It's also in Ritmo&Compás, but second floor. Looks better. It's actually a mess, but it was somehow better. Plus we know the other bands that play there. We're moving this month and start July there.
I went driving today again. Fun stuff. I can't wait to get my license and own car. It'll take a while tho... I'm not starting with the license till September and who knows when will my mum make up her mind about the car thing. She wants to buy one, which we'll share.
It's Serg birthday today (love you, kid). It's a shame I couldn't go out to see him and the others. I hate staying home on the weekends. I hate exams. But, yeah, what I hate the most is staying home and wasting soooo much time... I might start looking for new personality. A not-lazy one.
Anyways, I'm going to the boys show tomorrow (Emergenza's final) and I'll see most of them (hopefully). I haven't talked to anyone in ages so I've got no clue about who's going and who's not.
I wanted to post about some stuff that's got me pretty down lately, but I'm not really in the mood anymore. It's being hard. Despite what you may think. By the look of the sms you sent last night, you got me totally wrong. You haven't understand a thing. And that hurts badly.
damn! damn! damn!
I'm hating everything. I can't understand why certain things work the way they do.
Some people get on my nerves. It's amazing who stupid they can get.
I hate the noise upstairs, my computer when it's not working, slow internet conexion, junk mail, fish, exams, wanting the impossible, seeing my mum cry, dogs barking 24/7, mosquitos, refreshing websites, country music, being tired... I hate the way I lack inspiration everytime I feel like writing.
Why can't the world just be hugs, love, skittles, music and summer time? (pop corn, stars, french fries and ice cream also admited).
:: But the sun still shines in the summer time
:: I'll be yours if you'll be mine
:: I tried to change, but I changed my mind
:: Think I'll have another glass of Mexican wine
:: She lived alone in a small apartment
:: Across the street from the health department
:: She left her pills in the glove compartment
:: That was the afternoon her heart went
- Mexican Wine, Fountains of Wayne -
weirdo?
Why do people call us strange? Just cause we dye our hair, wear shorts during winter, can't make it without music and without the rest of our crew. Just cause we like spikes and to play it loud. Cause we go to shows and love the pit. Cause we have tattoos and piercings.
If loving the way I life, being the way I am, means I'm different I reject to be normal. I'll stay with my weirdos forever cause they are what I need. And I'll play it loud, I'll go to shows, I'll wear shorts, I'll dye my hair. I won't give a fuck about not being like you cause all I want is to be me.
speak ASCII?
For the boy:
49276D20736F727279 (for all the figths)
happiness
Conexion speed reaching normal rate... I won't speak too loud just in case... Buy, yay, I'm excited!
I went out shopping with my sister today. I need a bikini, I can't find the ones I had last summer, and I wanna go to the swimming pool!! It's been really warm this week. Hopefully there'll be no kids tomorrow morning at the pool, they can be hell annoying... specially those who are around 10 or 11 years.
I'm gonna wait a few days till I order that stuff I want from ThinkGeek. Alex told me he might want some things too and we'll probably order together. My sis wants stuff from Interpunk, so we might do all before I leave. I can't wait till I get the package. Geek!!!
Las night I didn't feel like going away to work all summer, but I'm kinda looking forwad to it today. Well, it's not really that I'm dying to go, you know, but I guess it'll be ok. Fun like last summer. I miss the ppl I met at work. My sis was just telling me this afternoon she didn't really feel like going on holidays there this year, cause none of our friends will go, but I'm sure we'll find stuff to do and people to hang around with.
The boy's probably not coming. It's ok if he doesn't feel like going but it would be cool if he did. Swiming at night, playing guitar at the beach, counting waves... But oh well... It's not the end of the world, is it?
I'm off. Time to study. I'm happy today. No apparent reason.
:: The time has come for colds and overcoats.
:: We're quiet on the ride,
:: we're all just waiting to get home.
:: Another week away, my greatest fear.
:: I need the smell of summer,
:: I need its noises in my ears.
:: If looks could really kill,
:: then my profession would be staring.
:: Please know we do this cause we care
:: and not for the thrill.
:: Collect calls to home
:: to tell them that I realize
:: that everyone who lives will someday die
:: and die alone.
:: And we won't let you in.
:: Though we're down and out.
:: We won't let you in.
:: You win.
- I Will Play My Game Beneath the Spin Light, Brand New -
:: javac Love.java ::
I like it geeky.
public class Love {
private Boy you;
private Girl me;
public Love(Boy y, Girl x) {
you = y;
me = x;
}
public thrill startRelationship {
return (you + me);
}
public void giveKiss(int n) {
Kiss k;
for (k=1; k<=n; k++)
System.out.print("All these for you"+k);
}
public fear relationshipStatus {
if (you loves me && me loves you) {
System.out.println("We're still in love");
}
else { System.out.println("Things are over");
}
}
}
I hate my ISP
Once again fighting with my stupid computer... I don't know what the hell is it today, but the internet's not working properly. Please, let it be the telephone company and not my modem again!!! PLEASEEEEE!!
I talked to Olga yesterday and she told me Xicu is working this summer. I wonder if Dani, Nuria and Aleix will be there too. I hope Juan is still my boss. He rocked last summer. Great guy. Xavi and the girls won't come this year... They at least promised to come and visit sometime. YAY. It was fun with them.
Summer's starting to look better..
Band practise today ruled. I had a great time. And we're kinda getting better. We should do new covers soon.
I might buy some stuff from ThinkGeek.com this week. They have this awsome binary clock I really want. And some cool tees too. And caffeine candy. And a cool pillow with binary numbers. And ......
I wanna get a few things from Interpunk too. Rancid and Ataris t-shirts.
Short post again tonight, but I gotta go to bed. Or to study. I'll decide while I go upstairs...
Take care you all. Good night.
YAY. (I've missed that the most...)
too many things, too little time
So, yup. Internet's back. Alex fixed my modem last night. Thanx thanx thanx and more thanx even to him. My saviour from now on.
I've been all day behind the comp, and yeah, I know I have loads of things to do, but one day is one day. Let's hope I don't waste all day again tomorrow.. That's the worst (and only bad) thing about having the internet back..
Stupid adiction... I really nead to learn how to control myself.
I was thinking today that I'll be gone to work in about 4 weeks. I don't really feel like leaving. I wish this summer could be like last year's. I'll finish exams the 30th and leave after 2, 3 or 4 days. That's not long enough. I wanna do too many things before I'm gone for almost 2 months. Madrid might be boring in the summer (when everyone's on holidays) and extremely warm sometimes but I kinda feel like getting bored as hell, doing nothing at all. Going to the movies, drinking liters of coke, listening to music all day, going out... I can't do all that in 4 days. I can't see everyone in 4 days either. I'm gonna miss my monchocore's crew. I'm gonna miss the boy.
I've always loved June. I hate it today.
3Com sux
YAY!! I've made it!! 3 whole days without any kind of online comunication and I've survived!! I'm so proud of myself...
My computer being fucked up was actually the best thing that could've happend. I've had the first exam today (hopefully I pass) and I know that if I would've had the internet conexio working I would've studied half of what I did (which, btw, wasn't too much). I format c: yesterday and installed Windows XP, but my stupid modem doesn't work with XP... How can 2-years-old stuff be old and obsolete? aaw.. these technologies...
I've just downloaded the drivers it apparently needs to work properly, they're safely hidden in my pen drive. I'll install them when I get home. Wish me luck.
My lil cousin Marta celebrated her brithday on friday and I went with my parents. Everyone was there already. Diego came running (as usual) and leapt into my neck. He's the cutest little boy in the world. Guess what? He got me a book!! He said he had to buy me a present with his own money, so he did. See what I mean when I say he's the cutest? It's been the best gift I've gotten, this year and all the others. 1 euro book has been better than all the money in the world.
After Marta's party I went to my sister's play. She was awsome. She played Dolores Ibarruri (La Pasionaria) It was a bit shorter than what I thought it'd be, but it was better than I expected.
By the time it started all my friends were in Malasaña celebrating my and Bibi's birthday. I got there around 12. I had fun. It's always good times when they're aoround. I love you!!
I'm leaving. My friends from class are out on the grass drinking Kalimocho. I'll save some for Lejow, I know she likes it.
Take care, people!! and be happy. I am.
fromi
Yesterday ruled. I have the best friends in the world. I couldn't see most of them but they all called or sms me to say happy birthday, tho it's not only that what makes them so great. They're the best, and that's it.
I got home after class (a class we didn't have) around 11. I called Cris, who was at home studying and I decided to go over. She picked me up (yeah, we're lazy... hehe) and spent all morning with her, burning Smallville's 3rd season episodes and watching Family Guy. Around 14:30 we went out for lunch and she drove me home afterwards. At 19:00 we left again to go to Toni's dad funeral. It was weird. Sad. A lot of old friends from school were there. It was good to see them. After the funeral we all went to have a few drinks. Toni came with us. It was great. Seriously, I had a really good time with them. They're still the same people they used to. I guess we all are.
Actually, seeing them last night made me think about frienship and certain things I shared with them. Specially about my relationship with Toni. We've known each other since we were 5, been in class with him for 13 years, been in the same school bus for 13 years too, sitting together most of times. Been in Canada with him too, in Ireland, in all his birthdays... We've been always together. And I realized last night, that he's been the best of friends, in a way. I mean, he's not been, and is not, the kind of friend you would tell about everything, but he's been always there. We've shared so many things that I can't really think of anytime of my last 13 years without him being there in one way or another. Saying he's the best buddy I've had in school might be the correct definition for him, but I really feel like he's more than that. Cause, yeah, we might not be inseparable, but I know that he'll be there, and he knows I'll be here. Being the same we've been to each other. I know that won't change, even if we don't see each other in ages. And even if things changed, even if I wouldn't see him again, he'd still be one of my first friends. And I'd still be one of his first friends. We'd be those two kids that look like boyfriend and girlfriend. Both blonde, both smiling. It's been cool years at school.
