Chloe
I'm getting really freaky about that smallville series. but I cant help it! I love it. I used to be in Lana's side but now I gotta say I'm more into Chloe's. She's more like me, or I'm more like her, I dont really know which way it goes. Like it mattered tho. Just kidding. I'm me myself and that's enough.
- I want to let you in on a secret. I'm not who you think I am. In fact, my disguise is so thin I'm surprised you haven't seen right through me. I'm the girl of your dreams masquerading as your best friend. Sometimes I want to rip off the façade like I did at the spring formal. But I can't because you'll get scared and you'll run away again. So I decided that it's better to live with the lie than expose my true feelings. My dad told me there are two types of girls -- the ones you grow out of and the ones you grow into. I really hope I'm the latter. I may not be the one you love today, but I'll let you go for now, hoping one day you'll fly back to me. Because I think you're worth the wait -
back
It's been long since the last time I wrote, and somethings have changed. for good.
Last weekend was real fun, and the begining of things getting back to normal. yes, he's back! he hugged me again. and so he did last night. And joked about the same things as before. And asked about my life and told me about his. It's awsome. I really missed him. He's a good friend. But that wasn't the only thing getting better yesterday. I saw Ana too! It was great to talk to her again. She's still crazy, that haven't change and it porobably wont. Better, I like her that way. She was my first very best friend and she's still one of my best friends. We're having lunch together on Tuesday. Kike and Guille are coming too. It'll be fun.
Hell! I'M SOOOO HAPPY!!
yuck fou
I'm getting sick of caring, sick of reading all your whining, all your complaints about your life and lack of affection. I'm sick of only knowing about you and how your're doing by your lousy journal. Sick of checking it every 2 hours in order to find something that makes me smile and finding nothing at all. Not a single time. Not even a tiny comment. Sick of writting about you all the time. But belive me, it'll be over soon. I'll learn how to forget as fast as you already knew. And I won't ever feel bad again. I'll build up a defensive wall around me if its necessary. Around my HEART. And fuck you cause I'm a girl and I won't sound mushy if I say you're ripping my heart out. And fuck my strategy of pretending that I hate you cause it doesn't make me stronger, cause it doesnt work shit. And fuck all this crap I'm turning my days into because of you and your coolness. I have a life. A kick ass life full of kick ass people. It sucked to hear one of those people has been having a hard time lately too. Forget about him, I'll say. You know its not that easy, you'll say. and I know it's not. but I promise I'll do my best to cheer you up, whether you forget him or not. You deserve nothing but the best. you are one of my greatest friends ever. I know I could never find anyone like you. You mean a lot to me. You've always been there. Thanx. Thanx a lot.
I'm done for tonight. You didn't come online today. Lucky you. Lucky me. That fucking strategy is not working. I might change the method, but be sure I wont stop pretending.
missed
I wanted to write last night, but I got home too drunk. I though I was too drunk to cry too, but I guess we're never too drunk, or too tired, for that. It's fucked up. I wish we were. But anyways, I'm not drunk anymore and of couse not crying either. Feeling bad? Yes, I'm still feeling bad. And it's always about the same shit. I thought things were getting better but they're not. I guess he's not the friend I though he was... who cares tho? (I'd be lying if I said I don't).
Friday ruled in a way, and crashed in another. I went out with Charlie and Palo, it kicked ass! We did nothing but it was a real blast. Like the old times, kinda. Ana didn't come, that was the fucked up part. I'm glad I sitll have some of yous. Im glad I see you Vaki more than ever and I'm glad that you Palo, and I still have the same inside jokes (Tonta!!!). I'm glad I can call that crew I met a year ago, friends. I'm glad I have someone that cares so much about me...
