:: next 12 exits ::

<3

So, today, tho it might have no sense or mean shit, I'll do what I've never done before (or did just once or twice) and should have done.
Cause I wanna show you that it's true what I've said and feel.
And I'm sorry that I'm doing it this way, but I think it's the only one I have right now. Even tho you're just a msn window away.

I'm sorry, again, and now with all it's letters in a language you can read.

I know you've done everything for me, you've allways tried to make things right, cared about me 24/7 for 15 months.
It really means a lot. You really meant the world to me. I know I've never been to good at expressing how I felt about you, I'm sorry.
I know I've should have done much more for you. For all you've been to me.

You've shown me love like nobody else had ever done and I loved you the way I'd never loved before.
I trully want you to understand I've done this the best I could. I never ever meant to hurt you. Not a single time.
I know I've hurt you. And I now that because love was stronger than ever pain was also stronger than ever, cause I've felt that myself too.
(Know that harm was never intended).

I don't know how the fuck things turn out this way, it's not how I wanted them to end.
I would have killed to talk to you face to face, to have you sitting next to me, to cry with you. But here I am, crying on my own, and there you probably are, doing the exact same thing. Out of reach for a hug or a good bye kiss.

This way it seems neither of us care about the other, that this 15 months were regular and meant nothing and that's not what I think, and I know it's not what you think either.

I guess that was all I wanted to say, or at least all than I could type. I'm not even in the mood for breathing.

Just one last thing. I hope I can see you before I leave. I hope you let me hug you one last time. I loved you. And I still love you. You mean a lot to me. You've been the first to touch my heart for real.

Seriously, it's been the best of times. Counting waves, and visiting non-existent beaches. Just 2 touches, but the best 2 in the world.

posted by susiluz @ 3:05 AM