insomnia?
... and I can't breath. I can't breath with you looking at me like that ...
I couldn't sleep last night.
Memories of brown eyes kept me awake till half past six.
One thing to remember: never again kiss boys with girlfriends. They're bad news. They lie. They make you upset.
Unless you can controll your feelings. Unless you can remain cold. Unless you can block them out of your head.
Listening: Roses Are Red - Bring me down.
back where i supposedly belong
Today being my fourth day back at home, which makes it my forth day with free internet (free in the sense that i dont pay for it), i think it's about time to post.
About what? That's the thing.
There's nothing to talk about and at the same time there's stuff to fill countless pieces of paper.
To make a long story short i'll just say i dont wanna be here. I'd like to be at work, with the lack of sleep, the bitchy boss and the crappy food. With all the amazing people i met.
As strange and unreal it might seem, going away for the summer, for me, means more than just 2 months away from home. It's like going to a different world, different life. I disconect almost completly from everything i leave in Madrid. And, really, this year i wasnt ready for reality yet.
I think i need a change in my life and i, somehow, was closer to that change back at the beach.
It's hard to explain.
To sum it up, it ended up being an awesome summer. I got close to some people that are truly going to be missed.
UPDATE: Thanx for the corrections.
Listening: Obrint Pas - Avui com ahir.
cheese!!
Sister's coming tomorrow!! Im excited, oh yes i am. And happy.
I learned how to not care anymore, or bury it deep inside and thing's are going great.
Really great.
the end in forever
Guys are assholes by default.
Even when you think you've found someone different they prove you wrong. Some after a few months, others after a few years.
I deal with break ups a lot better than i do with dissapointments and recently i had a huge one of the latter with someone (too obvious to write names) so i'd be lying if i said im alright, despite i aparently am. As long as i dont think about it, trying to understand what on earth went and is going on i'm pretty cool. The last past days have been quite awesome for different reasons and ive already started to move on.
I just cant help feeling a hole in my chest and lacking air (literally) everytime i remember something about 10 days ago and wonder how can someone change so much in so little time. Things would be much easier if i knew what happened. Things are always easier when there are no lies in between.
I think i deserve some kind of explanation but as much as i want to keep trying to get an answer i know i should let things be. I shouldnt put any more effort, i've done enough. Cause seriously, what else could i do? Specially from here, with so many working hours, lack of sleep and no free internet.
It's just too sad to think this is the end of something that was so good. Cause it's a horrible end.
Apart from the downs, as its been said, there are also ups. Im hanging out with great co-workers i hardly talked to 2 and 3 years ago and some awesome people ive met this year, and my sister is coming to work on friday till the end of the month. I'm picking her up at 10 in Figueras. Can't wait.
